Part-time orphans behind daycare walls
This would, of course, be one case in 100,000. But even such a case would leave options open. If the young widow loves her daughter selflessly, she will do everything she can to spend as much time as possible with her little girl. For example, she might work only part-time to earn just enough for the two of them to get by modestly. Or she might look for a childminder to enable her daughter to build a relationship with a permanent caregiver, rather than exposing the little girl to the stress and uncertainties of everyday life at a nursery.
Loving people find opportunities where selfish and opportunistic people only see obstacles and barriers. They are not influenced by a zeitgeist that drums into them:
- Babies and toddlers must not get in the way of your career.
- That's how it's done today. Be a modern mother!
- Everyone else is doing it!
- You'll bring home more money if you work full-time.
- With the extra income, you can pay for your daughter's enrichment classes and prepare her for life.
Marathon for two-year-olds
Such propaganda clouds the senses and paints a picture of supposed benefits. Anyone with open eyes and an open heart can see the silent suffering of nursery children. Take, for example, the little boy whose gait is still a little unsteady because he is only two years old. He is the youngest in the daycare group, and the staff quickly put a high-visibility vest on him. He is then taken to his place in the column. The seats in the strollers are fully booked by babies. The other toddlers who have to complete the daily march are already older and walk hand in hand. There is no suitable partner for the little one. So the two-year-old has to hold on to a twin stroller.
March! The staff who lead these groups of children are mostly young and have little experience in raising children. They also don't have the time to sense the needs of the little ones. And they certainly don't have the time to meet those needs. So they march. As stated in the daily order. Movement.
For the 2-year-old with his short stubby legs, the march soon becomes a marathon that demands “superhuman” efforts from him. The pace is set by the supervisors, who apparently orient themselves to the light-footed majority of the older kids. Our little sprinter clings to the stroller and hastily puts one foot in front of the other. Just don't fall! Maximum concentration.
Such stressful situations not only shape a young child's soul, they also inevitably shape their brain. The frequent and excessive release of stress hormones caused by excessive demands impairs healthy brain growth. And it increasingly conditions the child to be a high achiever through the constant, premature release of adrenaline.
No wonder schoolchildren are already showing signs of burnout in the lower grades.
Anything but basic trust
Of course, everyday life in daycare centers offers a number of other situations that drive up the stress levels of babies and toddlers:
- too few staff to calm crying babies.
- overworked staff who are unable to resolve conflicts between the children.
- no time to dispel the constant stress of childhood loneliness.
Anyone who convinces themselves that this is an ideal place for babies and toddlers is a master of self-deception. In more honest times, it was said that a child's basic trust is built up in the first six years of life. In thousands of situations in which caring parents impress deeply upon the child's heart: “You are loved, gifted, cherished, nurtured, entertained, comforted, cared for, protected, secure, favored, carried, belonging, cherished, and uplifted...” The identity of such children is founded and rooted in the devotion of their parents and family. Achievement plays hardly any role in the early years of life. Basic trust is built up through undeserved affection, which also requires parents to make sacrifices and give up things. There is no thriving love without sacrifice.
As you do unto me, so I do unto you?
“Love is the only thing that multiplies when you waste it.” Unfortunately, we are far from being a loving society. Children are the ones who suffer most from this. The restrictions and stress of the coronavirus pandemic have made it clear just how little resilience our children and young people have. Psychologists and psychiatrists are overwhelmed. The waiting lists for outpatient and inpatient treatment are endless. And all of this has been known for a long time (see blog post on the topic).
Parents who plan to sit around alone in a retirement home later in life, waiting in vain for their offspring to visit, can certainly continue as before. Love is voluntary. The law of sowing and reaping, on the other hand, is ironclad and irrefutable. You cannot sow selfishness and reap devotion.
It is more rewarding to rethink, ask for forgiveness, and act differently. Of course, the socialist daycare industry would soon implode if only parents in genuine need were to drop off their little ones. This would be a political challenge, as an army of daycare staff would have to reorient themselves professionally. No problem! A society that returns to one of its most important core values is capable enough to overcome even major crises. The family is the nucleus of a healthy state. Or, as our Swiss writer Jeremias Gotthelf put it:
